Zinthata 17th Morgron – Year of the Stonehammer
Monsters Slain (2) Dungeons Looted (0) Gold Earned (2) Treasure Looted (0) Lord Cleaver (Helpful for once)
If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s Orcs. Call it a pet hate if you will, but washing the stink of Orc off your clothes is a nasty job. Imagine rolling around in fox poo and burying yourself for three days in a cabbage patch and that’s not far off the mark as far as the smell goes. I don’t mind fighting them too much, more than three in a scrap is a problem, but the two that gave me grief last night were just scrawny little scouts. Lord Cleaver gave the alert, yelling something along the lines of ‘Oi! Wake up fatty! You’re on!’. Next thing I know Lord Cleaver appears in my hand (how does he do that?) , and one nasty green head is already lopped off at the shoulders. I was still yawning and blinking the sleep out of my eyes when I took the swing. The second swine was rummaging about in my backpack looking pretty wary. He tried to dance off into the shadows when I caught his eye but I hefted Lord Cleaver and lobbed him in a wide arc that took the Orc’s leg off at the knee. No more running for him, ha ha!
Before I brained him properly, the little puke told me that he was in the Grey Toad clan. Never heard of them and apart from a couple of gold pieces and a naff short sword with more rust than iron on the blade he didn’t have much on him. I did manage to get a nugget of good out of him though. He saw the cart I’m tracking the day before yesterday and had even been part of a raiding party that tried to rob it. ‘Tried’ being the word here because apparently, and you can’t really trust an Orc, when they got close the fella driving the cart did some sort of foul magicks that sent them all running scared. A black cloud of screaming badness or something like it. Translating Orc is pretty hard and I don’t like talking to them, all spit and snarls and their breath? Whooo! Anyway it seems that the cart, driver, donkey and ‘Gazoo the Magnificently Dead’ are heading towards a ruined tower that used to be called ‘Bal-Gulga’ or somethin like it’. Probably one of the old outposts set up by the first men a long, long time ago.
I’m on my way to an old tower on the trail of a dead wizard and what looks like a pretty powerful live one. This has a whiff of Necromancy about it and if there’s one thing I hate more than Orcs, it bone-fiddling, graveyard lurkin’ bastards. Hate ‘em. Hate ‘em. Hate ‘em.